The next step, insyaAllah

Jodoh, ajal, maut semua di tangan Allah s.w.t.  and we will never know what Allah s.w.t wrote for us, and yes, when the times come, that is it. Its your time. Its because Allah knows, you are ready for it. you are the chosen one.

I never said that Long Distance Relationship is easy. NEVER, even once. But to act, remember those memories, its kinda, Yes, He is the One Who Knows Everything :)

"Kun fayakun" - When He says, 'be' , it will be.

We started like this (2009)
H : Hello, Chep, * ade? Aku nak cakap dgn dye.
C : Ade, jap.

and this is how Allah s.w.t, twisted my story. the best way He planned :)
H : Hai husband, whatcha doin?
C : Assalamualaikum sayang. Buat keje, dah makan?

I never thought he will be the one,that one, that i will spend my life with, that i will hold on to, that i will love lillahi ta'ala.

That is what Allah s.w.t thought me, after those painful memories, after those hurting years, He sent me my husband, the one who accept all my flaws, looking at me, through me the future, not my past.
and yes, to fall in love in the halal way is muchmuchmuch more sweeter that you've could imagine.

I learnt so many things from my past, WE learnt so many things. Accepting each other flaws is the first ever step in accepting someone to be a part of your life. Seriously.

When i first get married, i refused to get pregnant. I REFUSED tho he was the one who eager to get a baby as soon as possible. Nay yah nah. but i started to change my mind when we were about 3 months married.

and Alhamdulillah, Allah s.w.t grant our wish, i get pregnant on early December.

And now our baby is about 14 weeks. My husband is so happy, oh no, i mean, so deadly happy.


At first i was like, to get pregnant this early is like, errrr okay. because, you know, i'm only 20 y/o, how am i supposed to be a mother? i'm freaking out! I was scared. oh still am! but that is it.

I've learn to love our baby from the first moment i knew, baby H is growing inside me. Little us is growing inside my tummy :')

To actually getting pregnant literally alone is not that easy. He is far, and the distance really count much.

The first trimester is like a &^*^%^$^
I cannot eat, i feel nausea all the time, its not a morning sickness anymore i guess, i vomit everytime i eat. I feel tired easily, my emotion was up and down.

Its not easy. Seriouly.

-To look at those who always has their husband beside them, when you are all alone is not that easy.-

There's no one to usap u every time u vomit, there's no one beside you in the midnight when u feel totally uncomfortable, there's no one to hear your pain, there's no one to hold u when u need someone to make u feel calm.

I still remember when i first went to my monthly check up at IIUM clinic. The pregnant mothers are ALL accompanied by their husband, and i was with Ummu. It was tough that time, but i know my husband is trying his best to be there. To msg me, even he was in the class.

Emotional break down was like a hell on that time.

But this is what i chose, i chose to be with him. and with him i learn to be grateful.

Yes, look at those people around you, who are more pitiful than you, not for you to be arrogant, riyak, but for you to be grateful.

At least i have a husband,who always try to be with me, the effort that i count, and what about those who are getting pregnant and their husband was died?

Its okay for not able to always be there, i guess its because Allah s.w.t knows, i can be with you, i can handle this, thats why He chose me.

There's nothing that i wish more from you, rather than a heart that will always look only at me. Rather than the love that will always for me. Always.

"if you want a happy marriage,dont expect more than what your partner can give

high expectation can kill, expect what they can give,

then you shall find contentment"

Alhamdulillah for everything that He gave. an awesome husband, great parents, best girlfriends and insyaAllah, my soon to meet baby H.

babygirls :) 

A husband, a bestfriend, a place to rely on. Iloveyou, always.

My next step, insyaAllah, meet my baby H

when baby H is bout 12 weeks!

Mummy loves you baby. Always. I know i am not a good mother, yet. With mummy's tight schedule, mummy didnt eat that well, sometimes mummy is so stress because of the study, sometimes mummy didnt get enough rest, sometimes i forgot to take the vitamin, sometimes this and that. But please do fight inside there. Grow up baby grow up. Everyone is looking forward to meet you baby H. and i'm very proud of you, even now. I know i gonna have a great kid. Lets fight together. For daddy, for atok and nenek, for our future. InsyaAllah.

For everythings that happen in our life, believe, believe that Allah always has His own reason why this and that happen. and be tough, never lose hope. Never. InsyaAllah.

Lots of love,

Mummy H